WARNING! Hazardous Content May Disturb Some Readers

As I was panning through my pictures from this semester, I was struck by the contrast between two, in particular. What struck me specifically was the contrast between acceptance of reality and the logical use of resources versus the absurd aversion to the natural and the cost effective.

The first of the photos, below, I took at Mt. Vernon. It describes the "Necessary" or the outhouse at Mt. Vernon.



In case the text isn't readable, the sign describes how Washington designed his outhouses to collect waste in drawers that were removable both for sanitation reasons and for fertilizing uses. Gross as it may be to think of eating vegetables out of a garden fertilized by your own waste, it is clear that Washington was a resourceful man who didn't want anything to go to waste. (Haha! I made a pun! Get it? Waste?)

Contrast Washington's approach with a sign posted in the Georgetown women's bathroom (if you can't read it, I end the post with a transcript of the full text):

After reading this sign, I was nearly convinced that the waste I threw away once a month was liable rear out of a common waste basket to poison me and required expert, agressive disposal at "predetermined intervals" which was (thank goodness!) managed at some burocratic level by experts who had designed this special, natural unit just to save me from such a fate. I mean, what of my bathroom trash can at home? Would it be sufficient to handle the dangerous biohazardous waste I put in it with each new cycle?

Now, I understand the necessity in public restrooms of appropriately handling waste, and I also understand that disease, cheek splinters, and Heaven only knows what else were spread via the outhouse. That said, I frankly don't care about the environmentally friendly air freshener that now makes the public bathroom smell like a nursing home. And I'm pretty confident that I don't need to be told about the expert "trained personnel" who will take care of the waste as needed. It's one of those things that, quite like you removing the booger from your nose, so long as it happens and we all survive, I actually DON'T want to know about it.

(Don't lie, you feel that booger that's been building all day, and now realize you need to either pick a winner or blow your nose. But I DON'T want to know about it!)

This whole embarassing, blush-worthy post makes me wish we could return in part to a simpler time when the Necessary didn't need an instruction manual to operate, and it was assumed that people that visited that particular vestibule would know precisely what to do there. Afterall, we are all human, aren't we? Now go blow your nose.

[Transcript of sign on the inside of the stall doors in the Georgetown women's restrooms:

"For Your Protection and Convenience....

We have placed a specially designed sanitary waste disposal unit in this stall. The unit contains a non-toxic neutralizer derived from natural plant extracts and essential oils.

The controlled release technology of this formulation neutralizes the waste and eliminates the odors, leaving a subtle, fresh scent.

Our trained personnel remove the used units and replace them with fresh units at predetermined intervals.

Please do not flush napkins or tampons. Thank you."]